10 Things I've Learnt About Living Alone

Monday, 12 January 2015

Since moving out of my parents' house in September, I've learnt a whole lot about what it's like living on your own for the first time. Here's ten of the things I've learnt....

1. Previously 'menial' tasks will now become a big deal. The lightbulb goes? Damn, this could take some doing. Like seriously. *calls Dad*

2. Cooking isn't easy. I mean, cooking is REALLY hard. You know your mum can just throw a load of vegetables in a pan with some sauce and voila - gorgeous meal? Yeah. You can't do that. Did someone say pizza?

3. Bills will make your blood boil. Pay day comes round - YAY money. Two days later - Oh, bye money.

4. Any even remotely odd noise will make you question everything. 'Am I safe?' 'Is there a masked burglar?' 'Where's the frying pan for self-defence!?'

5. You'll start to talk to yourself. It won't be all the time, but occasionally you'll find yourself commenting on something that happens on TV, or else laughing to yourself about something - and then feel like a complete weirdo when you realise there's nobody there.

6. The dishes won't wash themselves. That big pile? You better go do that.

7. You will start putting on regular broadway performances in your pyjamas at around 9.30 every night, complete with hairbrush microphone and the Wicked soundtrack. It will be fabulous.

8. Tidying the house is a rare once-in-a-blue moon occurrence. You will learn to accept this.

9. Your parents will ring you to check you're still alive at least once a day.

10. Netflix will become your best friend, with the two of you only ever occasionally falling out when you start to get a little too self-involved after all those binge-watches and begin to think you're actually a real-life meth dealer/prisoner/vampire-witch-werewolf hybrid.

If you live by yourself, let me know what you've learnt about living alone - can you relate to any of these?