Learning to Love Myself

Sunday, 3 February 2019

We're finally one month into 2019 and it's officially February: the month of love. I know people joke about January being a practise month but I really felt like it was. It dragged horrendously, I didn't blog at all and feel like I set myself up to fail with the 12927843 unrealistic new year's resolutions I gave myself. But you know what? That's okay.

I am so happy it's February now and everyone knows this month revolves around love. But instead of focusing on romantic love, I have but one goal for this month, and every month going forward to be honest: I need to love myself more.

I've never really been my biggest fan. Forever the first to put myself down, I've struggled with insecurities my whole life and have always been so focused on loving everyone around me, I've forgotten to love myself. Ever since I was a teenager my source of happiness always came from a boy - since the age of 17 I've only ever really been single for a few months, and the thought of being alone always terrified me.

But, something hit me today and made me realise that in order to be really, truly happy, and in a happy relationship, I have to love myself. You'd think that the countless quotes I re-pin on Pinterest about 'loving yourself first' would have had some impact before now, but it actually took a very emotional Sunday listening to sad songs and songs about self-love for me to realise where I've been going wrong all this time.

It honestly feels like I've had a bit of an epiphany - I'm in control of my own story, and I don't need anyone else to make me happy - I can do that all by myself. So, I'm going to be taking more time to do the things I enjoy on my own, practising more self-care and just generally giving myself a bit of a break. I'm planning on taking up some new hobbies, learning new skills and taking time to look after my body and my mind.

I implore anyone who has ever felt down about themselves, anyone who is riddled with insecurities or anyone who has ever felt like they needed someone else to show them that they're worth loving - learn to love yourself. You are absolutely enough and you deserve all the love in the world.

Still doubting yourself? Listen to the Spotify playlist I put together above. If you only have time to listen to one song, make it Katy Perry's 'Love Me'. The lyrics just some it all up - 'I don't negotiate with insecurities, they always seem to get the best of me... I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be... I'm gonna love myself the way I want you to love me'. Trust me, these songs will make you want to love yourself more.